Authenticity

How do we sound or remain authentic when we are 'telling our story' in interviews? Repetition of anything builds in smoothness of delivery but often with loss of connectivity to the message, if delivered by rote. In our workshops we are very interested in clients maintaining authenticity. How else are we to build trust and rapport in our relationships? My maternal Grandmother approved of my father because of his 'open' face as she felt this reflected his nature. To some extent it did but we can't entirely rely on looks however much we want to. The voice itself is also a great provider of clues. The authentic voice is connected to the body of the person using it. When we release someone vocally we often see a very different person, someone somehow completed. Breath is vital to this process. If a voice is breathy you are diminished; if too quiet you are diminished and if unclear or rushed it is again you who are diminished by it. Your voice at it's most open and free can only be authentic. Assisted by an open body and stance you both sound and look secure. You have to practise to ensure this becomes a default attitude.

Martha Carney - @BBCRadio4 - Women's Hour

Half an ear in and out of this programme today but I was a litttle concerned that Martha seemed to deride one of the contributors for her 'love and nurturing' comment. This women was evidently a little stuck for words and she was saying that women in the construction industry can try to behave like men to get on and there was no need. They should not lose their ability to nurture. She nearly got there because she did talk about male and female, jin and yang. I think what she meant to express was that we do not have to become more aggressive, overly direct or unemotional simply because some of us work in a male dominated environment. It is possible to maintain femininity (not girlishness or flirtyness but female attributes) whilst still having gravitas. I relate this to authenticity. If we are true to our core selves then our behaviours become authentic and as long as we are displaying valuable traits then they can be valued acordingly.

Some thoughts on charisma and presence and public speaking.

In a workshop recently  the question of personal presence and charisma  arose. We were talking about being ‘centred’ and how actors use this as a term to denote readiness for ‘action’.  Being centred is also taught in any martial arts training.  Your centre, as a place for balance, means your centre of gravity is located around the navel. There is a very nice exercise that allows you to discover your physical centre simply by thinking low in the body. When doing this you gain stability with flexibility.

But does a centred person have more charisma? I have always believed that your charisma/presence is something we all have and that as an adult you opt to ‘give’ away. I sometimes use the analogy of a there never being a baby that does not invite being looked at, albeit in an involuntary way. This has led to challenges from parents who say of course some babies have more personality than others and this may well be true. When centred you have to be in good alignment (babies always are) – so your spine is fully flexed, lengthening you in the neck and small of back. Your shoulders are also dropped and wide. You are strong and vulnerable. You can catch but you can also throw – a punch or a ball.

Centred is often sexy. It has a ‘look at me’ quality and sexy is usually also a mixture of strength and vulnerability. When public speaking you have chosen to be looked at.  Often people don’t feel they have made the choice. In fact they have by dint of being in the job they do.  Once you overcome the denial and accept the responsibilty of being in the spotlight it becomes easier. Once you choose to be seen you are already developing your presence. Of course some people take longer to find or exploit what is natural but I am sure we all have it.

Wedding Fair Season

Wedding Fair Season - London and Birmingham. And I have missed out again. My timing this year has been terrible!

However I have had a couple of clients who came first to the Professional Speaking Open Courses at Vestry House Museum, E17 and then followed up with a few individual sessions so they could shine at their respective engagements in their particular roles. And it worked!

Preparation is very definitely the key when making a speech at a wedding. That and not getting drunk before you make it of course. Alcohol really does lead to disaster. Best men who have had one too many are prone to make bad jokes, spoil the punchlines, and upset relatives. First it will be the mother of the bride, then the grandparents, and then anyone else who appears in the stories. 

If you can hold off till a bit later on, having honed and practised your speech, you will make everyone happy and your star will shine. Remember you have to pause to breathe so you have to punctuate and, if at all possible given your nerves, do smile. Everyone will feel glad not to be you and glad you are enjoying yourself.

If you have something coming up and want help I do have a course in London on the 21st October.  See www.resonancevoice.com/opencourses


Louise

Blooming voices - May 28

Yesterday I delivered the first open voice workshop I have run for a few years. It was a reminder of how positive an experience it can be to bring together a diverse group of people. All had a central focus but also individual needs and issues to explore. We met at the Vestry House Museum in Walthamstow and I think I may have made a few new converts to the area. In spite of the chill yesterday the gardens at the museum were in top condition and the situation is nothing if not charming. I had a diverse group of people who variously came through google, referral, a local ad in the paper, telephone marketing, a flyer, youtube and an old aquaintance. Just goes to show that diverse forms of marketing do work! Everyone was generous, committted and managed to have a laugh as well as going home with some new skills and certainly plenty of factual knowledge about their voices in performance. The highspot for me was during an exercise in which we chanted to gain extra resonance. Everyone spoke on a single but not the same tone and we effortlessly achieved some absolutely beautiful harmonics. I nearly stopped the workshop there and then to form a choir!

Bring on June 16 and 17 when I am running my next two courses.

Voice training for returners to work and for interviews

If you have had a spell off work through illness, redundancy or maternity leave then getting back into the right frame of mind can be tough. The lack of contact with work mates leaves you feeling out of the loop. Getting back into the physical routine might seem very arduous and a bit daunting and you may feel that you won't cope. It may be that you feel your mental muscle is never going to come back and that you won't be as good as you want to be. Essentially your self esteem is generally a bit in short supply!

What I value above all about the training we offer is its physical nature. We appreciate that the mind and body are intrinsically interlinked and that to ignore the needs of one in order to focus solely on the other is not a great game plan. Of course we need to prepare content in order to come across to any audience with clarity and focus but if we leave out the physical preparation we can seem lacklustre, even boring to our interviewer. We may not even be heard. Our training focuses on the physical signals we send out and then offers ways to easily counteract any negativity. We accept that most people can't spend hours improving themselves vocally so we offer simple practical ways into vocal work that when tied in with the bodywork has an immediate effect. There is a beauty in its simplicity and the way that after some brief very but affirmative interventions people are more buoyant, stronger and back in a frame of mind that allows them to take on the world again. They also look and sound terrific.

Top tip: Sound goes where it is placed. Focus your voice on a point just beyond the person furthest away from you to ensure everyone hears what you have to say. 

Ten Top Tips for the Best Man's Speech

On the eve of The Auspicious Day I feel behoven to give a few tips to all Best Men out there getting nerves before the great day.
1. Stay off the booze till after you have spoken (one nip is ok but NO MORE)
2. Practise without notes several times the night before and a couple on the day if you can - then rest.
3. Try to get a decent sleep
4. Speak to the furthest guest from the Top Table to ensure everyone hears
5. Move your lips more - especially the top one - this will aid clarity and slow you down
6 Breathe from your belly.
7. Stand to your height, relax your shoulders back and down
8. Keep a chuckle in your throat so you dont tense vocally
9. Keep your jokes clean for Aunty Mabel
10. Speak from your heart and with love.